I never thought picking up the phone to call another person could be so hard.
I was stuck midway while reading the book "
The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I couldn't proceed further than Chapter 21 because the previous chapter kept calling me back and I had to read and re-read that chapter just to be able to digest what it really meant to say.
Chapter 20 of the book was titled "
Restoring Broken Fellowship". This chapter talked about how God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict with another person. Conflict with another person blocks our fellowship with God and keeps our prayers from being answered.
So now, the ballgame has changed. Instead of trying to avoid conflict or running away from it and pretending it doesn't exist, I am now held accountable for restoring broken fellowships. The ball is now in my side of the court.
One time during those rare occasions where I watch television, I saw Boy Abunda
(of all people!) talking about peace and reconcialiation and telling the viewer to call up someone they have an rift with and make amends in the spirit of the Christmas Season.
What timing nga naman!
I knew what to do. I also knew whom to call. I only had to pick up the phone, dial their numbers, talk to them, say sorry, forgive me, I forgive you blah blah blah and get it done and over with.
That's easy to say. The phone felt like it weighed 100 pounds that I couldn't even pick it up. And when I finally got the strength to pick up the phone and dial the numbers, it was as if my thumb and the "send" key were magnets with like poles opposing each other... I couldn't bring my thumb to press the send key! I had mixed feelings actually... I was afraid, scared, shy... I even felt like I was belittling myself as I tried reasoning out with my pride and my principles. Aarrrggghhhhh!
But I knew, too, that there was no way out of my predicament. I had to do it or I get stuck forever in this rut
(and I couldn't continue reading the book). With nothing else to do, I prayed for guidance, "ventilating vertically" as Rick Warren called it. I also prayed for those other persons I had conflict with so that God might touch their hearts and appease their feelings when I call them up.
Finally I was able to pick up the phone and press the "send" key.
First call got answered.
"Hello?".
Ok here goes... nothing much to talk about so I just went straight to the point. I said my piece:
"I'm sincerely sorry, etc. etc." and after all's been said and done with, and good-byes were said, a great feeling of relief came over me. Wheeeewwwww! Ang saya saya!
It's time to call more people, so I picked up the phone again and dialed the number of the next person on my list.
No answer... Nothing but ring ring ring.
Ok, no problem, dial another number.
Again, no answer. Nothing but ring ring ring again.
What the...??? I sure hope they're not ignoring my call because they know it's me. But it's 10PM already so they could be asleep that's why they aren't answering my call.
The next morning I called again.
No answer! %!&*%@!
I used another phone that had the caller ID suppressed so that they won't know that it's me calling. Still no answer. Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! What now???
I called the next day and still I wasn't able to talk to them. Oh no, I'm stuck!
Two weeks passed and I tried to call them a few more times but still no success. My fear of calling them was now being replaced with frustration. Were these people were avoiding me or what?
It was then that I accidentally found out that I still had some load left in my Sun Cellular phone. I immediately dialled their numbers. BINGO!!! They answered!!! What used to be fear of talking to them gave way now to feelings of elation that they finally answered. It was a bit of an awkward talk at first but gradually things warmed up, I apologized for my earlier actions, and finally we were on good terms again.
Whew! It does take a great deal of energy to restore a broken "relationship".
But what a pleasant feeling it was to have finally buried some hatchets. It was like something heavy got lifted off my chest and I can now breathe freely again.
I still have two more people to call. They're not in the Philippines, though, so I will have to "invest" a few minutes of IDD talktime. But I know it will be well worth every Peso spent.
I can now go back to reading my book =)
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"Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody." --Romans 12:18