Forks in the Road

(Left mind rules over the right mind... this is the result, hehehe)

        From time to time, the path ahead divides in two, and we have to face that rarely-simple, usually-procrastinated and uniquely-excruciating decision... this way or that.  Being a bit of a fence rider and a person who generally prefers living in shades of gray, I can't imagine any situation I'd rather avoid. But try as I might, those moments still come, inevitably.

        It was easy when I was younger.  I just deferred as long as I could, then I took the easiest course.  I went with the flow, the path of least resistance.

        So simple.

        So what if that easy choice could lead to years of gnawing dissatisfaction which might then flower into outright depression?  Who cared if it might ultimately require painful, drawn-out backtracking?  At least the initial way was easy.

        Nowadays, it's agony.  The choice at the fork never seems easy any more.  I suppose that's one of the curses of growing older.  I don't have the comfortable luxuries of ignorance and inexperience to fall back upon.  Things are beginning to look eerily familiar, and patterns that have formed over the course of my life are starting to become obvious.  Not to imply that a matured clarity has taken the place of youthful blindness...  I'm just as capable of self-deception now as I've ever been.  If anything, I might be better at it, as my rationalizations become ever more convincing and better argued.

        It's all so exhausting...

        I'll move on.