"How to Tell Someone You Just Want to Be Friends"
-- from Dexter d'Mango's archives
"Er... I have to tell you, I'm involved with another pig..."
Aha!!! So you want friendship... But he or she wants more. How can someone draw the line without making future encounters awkward?
Steps:
- Try subtle hints that let the other party know that you're not interested in romance. For instance, "I really value our friendship" (with emphasis on "friend"), or "It's so nice to have a guy/girl friend who I can talk to without any kind of romantic tension to get in the way."
- Mention that you're involved with someone else (assuming that's true) if the other party is a new acquaintance and shows unwanted romantic interest.
- Tell the person up front that you enjoy being single right now and are not looking for a romantic partner, but that you're always looking for new friends.
- Make a joke out of your rejection if the person is an older friend: i.e. "We'd never make a good couple; we know each other's hang-ups too well - there'd be nothing to argue about!"
- Be honest and tell your friend why you don't think a relationship would work out, unless the real reason is that you aren't attracted to him or her. Even the closest of buddies would have a hard time rekindling a friendship after such a harsh rejection.
- Change the subject after you've dashed the notion of romance and try to forget about what just happened. Dwelling on the reasons why you don't want to get involved with a friend won't do the friendship any good.
- Enjoy the friendship as you always have.
Tips from other people:
Be honest
Forget the subtle hints, they are no good. If you really like him as a friend, be honest, tell him directly that what you want is a friendship. Relationships have to be based on the truth! If you know he wants more, it's cruel not to tell him how you feel. He will understand! And remember to be happy for him when he finds someone else. ;)
- Marie S.
A more honest approach...
Tell them casually that you want to talk. Simply explain they are important in your life, but you would prefer to be friends.
Other good ideas:
- Can't handle relationship emotionally
- Met someone new
- Don't want a serious b/f or g/f
- Meagan M.
A comment on tip #1.
If you want to tell someone that you "just want to be friends", don't tell them that you met someone new. You'll be creating a challenge, a nearly competative situation. Use the vague, but direct "there's no chemistry".
- Joe D.
It won't happen
Guys, do not ever assume that if you remain friends with a girl she will gradually warm up to you. Usually, when a girl says she wants to be friends, she really means it. Friends - period! You can either chose to be her friend, or get out of the picture before something ugly happens to your bank account. It is a vain hope that you will ever win her affections. Girls can smell desperation from a mile away, and it doesn't turn them on.
- Deedee D.
How to break the news
Be honest, but definitely don't mention that you like someone else. If this happened to me, I'd be mad and upset. If they really like you and you don't feel the same, it'll only make things harder the longer you drag things on. Don't wait, because you don't want them to like you even more.
- Anonymous J.
---------------------------
So I‘ll be movin‘ on
In time you look I will be gone
‘Cause when I needed you
You were never ever there for me
So I‘ll be floating in the breeze
Like a falling leaf
Don‘t look for me ‘cause I‘ll be moving on
...i have the remedy! check my post! =)
ReplyDelete